Blog: One Writer's Journey

Life's Journey Updates - Being Vulnerable

8/4/2018

It seems impossible that the last time I wrote a blog post here was in spring of 2016 – that is more than two years ago! Where did the time go? All I can say is my journey since then has been rough, and because of that, I have grown and matured – and learned valuable lessons.

All of my life it has been my role to be the strong person, and to be supportive of everyone else. However, one valuable lesson I've learned over the last two years is to be vulnerable. Apparently being vulnerable is difficult for most people, not just me. Maybe if I can be vulnerable here, in public, it may encourage you.

Since my last blog post:

My husband passed on from an ugly cancer which metastasized in the nerves inside of his brain.
After his passing I discovered the debt was out of control.
I've moved three times, yes three times. (Fortunately, I am now in a place I can stay for as long as I like.)

The debt is mostly paid off and will soon be totally paid off. I am writing more, and will publish two more books by the end of the year, with more books coming next year. More importantly, I am learning to live alone as a young, well a some-what young, widow.

Even though these last few years have been rough, I am doing well with a bright future ahead of me. Because of difficult circumstances I had to be vulnerable and reach out for help, though it was embarrassing. I discovered people were gracious to step forward and help, and now I have the most awesome support system a person could ask for. And, I thank you for being a part of that support system by enriching my life with your notes of encouragement and your prayers. I am stronger because of this last chapter of my journey and am excited for the future, knowing it is okay to be vulnerable at times. I can now be human, and I no longer must always have the role of being strong for everyone in my life.

Thank you again for being part of my journey.

Please enjoy these photos of my home here on the Olympic Peninsula.

Wishing You Success
on Your Own Journey

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Embracing Grief

5/18/2016

It is springtime here in the Northern Hemisphere and the majority of us are enjoying warmer weather and other positives in our lives. The last thing we want to think about is grief.

However, grief is no respecter of time, nor of person or place. He shows up when we least want him and, worse, when we least expect him.

How do you define grief? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines grief as a deep sadness caused especially by someone's death. The Free Dictionary defines it as a source or cause of deep mental anguish.

My favorite is American Sign Language which translates grief as a person's heart being ripped apart.

Grief is our reaction to any loss in our lives, be it by death or by the breaking apart of any relationship or by watching a loved one suffer.

Grief is so personal that no one can truly understand another person's sorrow. I will never know the grief of an alcoholic husband nor the heartache of a child with brain cancer. Yet others will never know what I had to deal with on my mother's death bed or of my dealings with addictions and mental illness in the lives of some people very important to me. There is more grief I have lived with - that we all have lived with.

There are countless books written about grief, and I've been asked to write another. Most of the books talk about the stages of grief and/or how to cope with grief. There are some memoirs where the writers share their personal journeys through the grief process. Phillip Yancy is the only author I have read who talks about grief's unifying power.

Grief can paralyze us mentally and emotionally, if we allow him to. Or we can choose to break free from his power over us and become a stronger person, helping others in their grief and uniting us in our sorrows.

Goal Setting with a Twist

1/9/2016

In December one lesson I shared with the group at Edmonds Senior Center was Goal Setting with a Twist. Everyone loved it and, in addition, I become motivated to be more proactive with my own goal setting for this new year.

Earlier this week I shared the same lesson with the class at SHAG (Senior Housing Authority Group) north of Seattle. The same thing happened again.

One of the most positive outcomes of both meetings is I am here - finally - blogging again. I love blogging and it saddens me that I have allowed life to keep me from this page.

In this post I want to briefly share the lesson on Goal Setting with a twist.

1. Watch how you word your goals

Say, for example, you want to lose twenty pounds.

What happened when you were a child and lost something? Nothing good, that is for sure! After all of the childhood programing, why would your inner child allow you to lose anything, even unwanted weight?

Instead of saying, "I want to lose twenty pounds," say something like, "I want to shed twenty pounds or I want my weight to be down by twenty pounds." This eliminates the word lose and allows your inner child to work with you instead of against you.

2. Break your goals into bit-sized mini-goals

Keeping with the example of weight-loss, in order for me to shed twenty pounds I need to drink more water, eat better, and exercise more. Once I accomplish these miniature goals then it should be easy for me to accomplish the main goal of shedding those pounds.

3. Add numbers to your goals

I already added one number by stating I wanted to get rid of twenty pounds. Now I need to add more numbers.

How much water do I need to drink each day? When am I going to drink all of this water? How and when am I going to exercise with my busy schedule?

I put our new dog, Alex, on a schedule so when I walk her, every four hours, that is when I get my exercise for the goal of weight deduction. I discovered it is easy to drink my eight glasses of water as I sip them in front of the computer.

The weight-loss example is just an example. These three tips can help us accomplish all of our goals easier. I know, I've used them effectively for at least a year.

What are some of your goals for this new year? How will these three tips make it easier for you to accomplish those goals?

Monitoring One's Daily Walking

6/6/2015

Rosa walking along the beach

Walking is a healthy and simple way to get needed exercise. Here is a blog post on the subject by my good friend, Linda Buroker – enjoy.

Writing is a sedentary occupation. Unless you can figure out how to plan, plot and flesh out your characters while walking you may get stuck in a rut.

I walked 35.68 miles last week. How do I know that? I wear a Fitbit Activity monitor. The daily and weekly totals spur me on. How active is the senior in your life? If you, your spouse, or your elderly parents are not physically active you need to know that inactivity has dire consequences.

An activity monitor is not just a toy for people who fancy themselves to be “jocks,” but a handy tool to keep sedentary individuals moving. Americans are way too sedentary, and seniors are no exception.

The fitness experts tell us that everyone should strive for 10,000 steps a day, which is quite a lot. Without the help of my friends, my dogs and sheer determination I wouldn’t be able to make it, and I don’t even have a day job. For many 10,000 steps is too intimidating. What happens if you can’t walk that far?

How much walking is enough? You might find the article by Marianne Wait in the latest Arthritis Today magazine (January/February 2015) a little more believable. The author did her research and found studies that suggest that 6,000 steps is enough. This is good news for those of you who simply cannot make10, 000 because of age or chronic illnesses. This doesn’t let you off the hook of course, 10,000 is still the ideal and the closer you can get to that number the better. (WWW.ARTHRITIS.ORG) is an encouraging site for people of a certain age or with chronic afflictions.

Wear a pedometer or an activity monitor all day long, because even unstructured steps count. Before you know it you will be trying to figure out how to add more steps to your total. Little steps count:

Walk around during commercials or when talking on the phone.
Instead of fussing because nobody offers you seats on the bus remember that standing up is good for you.
Don’t just drop the grandkids off at the athletic field or sit in the bleachers while they practice, this would be a good time for you to walk.
Skip the drive thru and walk into the bank, the coffee shop or the pharmacy.
Don’t drive around for half an hour to find a parking place in the first row.
Take the stairs even if you have to pause at each landing.
Working in front of a computer? Get up and walk around every 30-45 minutes because a whole day can slip away in the blink of an eye.

How many steps did you take today?

Check Linda’s blog out at lmb.typepad.com/smart_senior

How to Become a Successful Writer

5/29/2015

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Do you, deep in your heart, aspire to become a successful writer? Do you watch old re-runs of, Murder She Wrote, and dream of sharing Jessica Fletcher’s glittering life-style? Do you picture your name on the cover of your favorite magazine?

What would you say if someone told you it is possible to be a successful writer now and still maintain your busy schedule? Yes, it is possible as many successful writers also have busy schedules.

The first thing to do is to ask yourself three questions: (1) “Why do I want to write?” (2) “How committed am I to this dream?” and (3) “Is it important enough to me that I am willing to make a few changes in my life?”

Your reason for wanting to write is valid, no matter what that reason is! While some people write to see their name in print, others write for stress release, or simply because they want to tell their stories. One friend started writing science fiction novels to pass the time while pregnant. Another friend, a business owner, began his career by writing client newsletters. A third friend got an idea for a suspense story, and decided to write it.

These friends, and most successful writers, have learned the magic secret of integrating their writing into their normal, everyday life. If your children do homework at the kitchen table while you prepare dinner then make cooking a family affair so after dinner you can write while they do their homework. Most children are very supportive of a parent’s desire to take on important projects. Do you watch TV in the evenings? Then write during the commercials. Do you use public transportation to commute to work? John Grisham wrote his first novel while commuting to and from his law office each day.

One adventure writer reserves four hours on Saturday mornings to write. A romance novelist writes an hour in bed each night. Another, freelancer, uses his lunch hour to write.

Do you see the pattern here? The successful writer weave writing projects into his or her regular schedule. Each has learned that some form of daily, or weekly, consistency is more valuable than waiting for large blocks of interrupted time in the future.

The successful writer has also learned to seek help and support when needed. Writers’ support groups are invaluable so check on-line or with your local library to see what is available in your area, and start writing today. In the meantime, keep watching those reruns of Murder She Wrote, and make your dream of becoming a successful writer a reality. Look out Cabot Cove – here we come!
This fun piece is an excerpt from my upcoming book, One Writer's Journey: A Collection of Life's Stories. It will be published later this summer by Martin's Muses Publishing Company.

Wishing You Success on
Your own Life's Journey ~
Crystal

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Trivia, a Brief History

5/22/2015

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Since many of our readers love trivia, I thought it would be fun to write a blog post on the subject. I went online and read everything there was on the subject. It was fascinating and what I learned would make great questions for any trivia game.

The Oxford Dictionary defines trivia as:

Details, considerations or pieces of information which are of minor importance or value

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary has four definitions for the word:

Unimportant facts or details
Facts about people, events, etc. that are not well-known
Unimportant issues
A quiz game around obscure facts

The first known use of the word dates back to the late 1400s or early 1500s. Trivia was derived from two words tri (three) and via (way) meaning the point where three ways meet. The implied meaning was ‘common place.’ Travelers would meet at these intersections and share information with each other. Part of the information they shared was common place, or inconsequential (trivial).

The second use of the word during that same time period was in the educational system. The three areas of basic education were grammar (rules of a language), logic (philosophy and mathematics) and rhetoric (to speak or write convincingly). These areas of study were known as common place or trivial basic education.

Trivia, as we know it today, was not invented until the twentieth century. In the early 1900s the word trivia was used in the titles of books containing short moral stories.

The first known trivia game was at Columbia University in 1965. From there the world’s love of trivia blossomed. Books were written on the subject and television aired well-loved game shows. The TV show Jeopardy is fifty years old, and still ranks in the top five-most-popular programs.

All of my life I have loved learning new things and consider all knowledge to be valuable. To me trivia is fun – and is anything but inconsequential.

What is your opinion? Does trivia have value or is it just fun and games?

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Six Tips for Overcoming Obstacles

5/15/2015

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Once there were two Greek gods who were walking around Mt. Olympus, bored and decided to entertain themselves by finding humans to harass. They found a man trying to start his own business and started throwing obstacles in the man’s pathway. Finally the man gave up his dream and continued with his old boring job. The gods were proud of themselves and proceeded to find more humans to defeat. This continued until the two came across a young man who was determined to start his own business. The gods threw obstacle after obstacle in the path of this young man. However, he refused to quit, and each new problem made him more determined to become successful. Finally the two gods decided that was no fun so they left him alone and went to find other adventures.

Like that young man, I am determined to go forward and be successful regardless of the obstacles thrown across my path. One important obstacle I must overcome is lack of time to write my blog posts. I love blogging and have missed sharing.

Here are six tips I have used to overcome obstacles, and to be successful in life. I share them with you knowing they can help you, just as they have helped many other people to become more successful.

1-Stay Focused: Know exactly what you want to accomplish and write it down! Writing it down on paper gets it out of your mind where you can look at it objectively and fine-tune your goals.

2-Decide on the Details: After knowing exactly what you want to accomplish, you need to decide on the details. When, where and how are you going to deal with your obstacles. I am now getting up at 6:00 a.m. to have uninterrupted writing time. (This also means going to bed earlier at night.)

3-Tell Friends and Family: Let the important people in your life know what you are doing – and stick to your guns. It is hard to say no to them, but when you continue to be consistent, you will be respected, and left alone (like the young man and two Greek gods).

4-Modify as Needed: As you go forward, make any needed changes to your plan. For example, I used to go to the library every morning to write. However, it does not open until 10:00 which ended up being too late in the morning. I modified my schedule and went to a coffee shop at 8:00 instead.

5-Ask for help: After her divorce a friend was determined to get rid of the clutter in her home and yard. More than once she reluctantly asked for help. Each time she was amazed at how willing family and friends were to step in where needed.

6-Believe in yourself: You were placed on this planet for a reason and your goals and dreams are important, for yourself and for the rest of us.

Do you have other tips that have helped you overcome obstacles and go forward with your life? Will those tips help our readers?

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6 Foods for a Healthy New Year + Contest Winner

1/10/2015

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A child's New Year crown for Rosa.

In October of 2014 I wrote a blog post telling Rosa’s story. http://www.crystallinn.com/one-writers-journey---blog-by-crystal-linn/rosas-story. In that post, I asked for everyone’s opinion about giving Rosa her own Face Book page. We also ran a contest, but due to most of my team members needing to be away for the holiday, we are just now wrapping things up. Everyone on my team sends their apologies.

The winner of that contest is Vicki Marney. We also want to thank everyone for their input. Without exception everyone voted for Rosa to have her own Face book page. However…my team showed me – again – how I tend to take on too many projects. So we compromised. Instead of giving Rosa her own Face Book page, we will give her, and her friends, their own website and a good friend will maintain the site for us. Thanks again. You are appreciated.

Now…here are six foods for a healthier new year.

Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV): Contains healthy protein and friendly bacteria. ACV cleans out the lymph nodes and helps reduce allergy symptoms. In French, the word “vinegar” actually means “sour wine.”
Garlic: is an antioxidant that kills bacteria and helps build up the immune system. Some experts consider garlic to be the world’s healthiest food. Hippocrates used garlic for respiratory problems, parasites and poor digestion. The original Olympic athletes were given garlic. It has been said that chewing parsley, which is also healthy, will get rid of garlic breath.
Ginger: is loaded with vitamins and trace minerals. It helps build the immune systems and has many health benefits. Ginger helps reduce nausea and stimulates digestion. It is an antioxidant and an anti-inflammatory, and it is good for the heart. It has been said that ginger root can help prevent cancer.
Honey: is loaded with vitamins, minerals and amino acids. It is an antioxidant, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory. It is also an anti-fungal and can help improve digestion and reduce cough and throat irritation. Honey can be used as a preservative, as long as no bacteria are introduced into the foods involved.
Lemons: are high in vitamin and mineral content, especially potassium which is good for the heart. Lemons contain antioxidant and anti-inflammatory nutrients, and they help to enhance the immune system. A lemon tree produces new fruit year round and one tree can produce 500 – 600 pounds annually.
Turmeric: is loaded with healthy nutrients such as vitamins C, E and K, potassium, calcium, iron and zinc. It has been said the turmeric can help stabilize blood sugar levels.

I wish you happy and healthy eating during 2015.

Post a comment and tell us how you like to prepare the above foods.

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Take Time to Read

11/9/2014

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My good friend, Linda Buroker, writes a blog for senior citizens who want to age successfully. However, her blog is loaded with good advice for all of us. This week, Linda is my guest blogger. Welcome her with open arms as I know you will enjoy her thoughts on the importance of reading. Check out Linda's Blog at: lmb.typepad.com/smart_senior

Winter is a great time to catch up on your reading. Doesn’t the thought of curling up in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate and good book make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

I grew up at a time when a trip to the library was the highlight of the week. I would go home with a bag of candy and a half a dozen books and think I was in heaven. I read mysteries and westerns and horse stories and dog stories. I read about Vestal Virgins, Roman Soldiers, and Pharaohs. I read about wagon trains journeys, little houses on the prairie, pirates, and southern belles on huge plantations.

Reading used to be fun, and it can be again. You don’t have to read the classics or even books on the best seller list, unless you want to. Find a romance, a spy story, a cozy mystery or a memoir. Read for the sheer joy of it.

Hardback books, paperbacks, audios, and electronic versions are readily available for everyone. Embrace the idea that reading improves your ability to concentrate, reduces stress, and helps you recapture the fine art of thinking. What could be better than that?

Set aside an hour or even just a half hour. Fix yourself a drink and turn off your computer, your television and yes, your phone. No pressure, no tests, and no reading lists. Read whatever you want.

You’re not too busy. You can keep a book in your purse, on your bed stand, in the bathroom, in a desk drawer, and in your car. You can take a book anywhere and a book can take you anywhere. People who grew up before television, and before movies could be streamed into the living room, remember the art of reading; the rest of you have something special ahead for you.

I am glad that authors still want to write, and I am glad that people like you still want to read. It’s a human thing and it makes the world a better place.

Wishing you Success on Your Own Journey ~ Crystal

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Rosa's Story

10/25/2014

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Rosa at the Beach, Smiling for the Camera

Rosa running along the beach

Most people who know us know about Rosa, my rescue dog. Few people know her story, or why she is in our lives, blessing so many people.

My father lived with a sibling for several years, and loved all of the activity; the children running around and the two dogs and the cat. Dad and the one dog were close.

Then a few years ago life dictated that my father move in with us, with was fine. However, our home was boring in comparison to my sibling's. At that time all we had were beta fish. My family and I wanted another dog but had decided to wait until we moved out of the apartment so we could have another large dog.

I knew my father needed some kind of a pet so I began praying. During that time I rode with two cousins to Eastern Washington for a family event on my mother's side. On the way home we saw this small dog darting in and out of traffic on a rural two-lane highway. My cousin drove the car to the side of the road and stopped. It took him 30 minutes to coax the dog to him. Once she was in the car, I held her while he drove to the local animal shelter.

Two weeks later, we received a phone call saying this was a healthy dog whom no one had claimed, so she was ours if we wanted her. It was love at first sight between Rosa and my father. She even slept on his bed for awhile.

Rosa (Rosalinda) is a Manchester Terrier, bred in the Manchester district of England during the early 1800s. She is very intelligent. While Rosa is wary of strangers, she is loyal to 'her people' from the eldest residents in dad's assisted living home to the youngest child at the local school. Just recently, I posted about her canine understanding when the father of an autistic child wanted his child to pet Rosa after school.

PLEASE help us make a decision about sharing Rosa. Post a comment below and vote yes or no to the question: Should Rosa have her own FB page or not?

All names will be entered into a drawing and the winner will received a signed, print copy of our newest book: New Beginnings: A Collection of Christmas Stories.

Thank you and we look forward to your comments.

Wishing you Success on Your Own Life's Journey ~ Crystal

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